Welcome to the Course!

Books you have been asked to purchase:

• Thanks for the Feedback by Stone and Heen

• Thank God for the Feedback by Heen & Lin

Books mentioned but you are not asked to purchase: (they are mentioned for proper citation and copyright for educational purposes).

• The Joy Switch by Coursey

• 4 Habits of Joy Filled People- Coursey and Warner

• Joy starts here! Wilder, Khouri, Coursey, Sutton

You will also want a notebook or something to keep notes in as you make personal goals. Goals should be personal, observable, and measurable.

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We also want to challenge you in this journal you are starting for class to begin a daily gratitude journal.

Class Document including study guide and questions

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When

 

8pm Eastern time for the ladies and runs for 1 to 1.5 hrs.  Zoom link will be sent by Coach Accountable Portal. Make sure your portal is set up to your timezone, and be aware of Daylight Saving Time and when Daylight Saving Time Ends in the United States.

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9pm Eastern time for the men and runs for 1 hour.  Coach Accountable Portal will send the meeting link. Make sure your portal is set up to your timezone, and be aware of Daylight Saving Time and when Daylight Saving Time Ends in the United States.

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The ‘Why’:

 

If you have been listening to our podcast recently, you have heard that we are huge fans and believers in the LifeModel. As you may know or have experienced, very few things in the Christian marketplace for self-help or marriage apply to marriage for NeuroDiverse Christian Couples.  While the books we have chosen, do not mention autism or neurodiversity they do mention neuroscience and brain circuitry and due to Dr. Holmes’ research on the AS/ND brain was able to put together information from Wilder’s work and (with permission) we have these courses for you.

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Thanks for the Feedback as well as Difficult Conversations were introduced to Dr. Holmes when working on her Master’s Certification in Communication and Conflict Resolution.​

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Thanks for the Feedback: Many studies for many years focused on how to give feedback in a way that it can be better received. However, no matter how wonderfully or well-intentioned you give feedback, there are many things going on for the receiver! This book is to help YOU manage your triggers and reactions to feedback to be a better receiver of feedback. Feedback is the most basic skill needed for relationships, receiving coaching/counseling, and the workplace. You will examine whether you have a fixed or growth mindset and your own triggers that get in the way of feedback. After this course we suggest you get the companion book, Thank God for the Feedback which may need a coach or counselor to help you work through.​

 

Goals:

As you read the feedback book, you are asked to write down per chapter a goal that applies to YOU not your spouse or marriage for discussion in class. Keep this in your journal. 

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To prepare for discussion, write down 3-4 summary sentences of the chapter, a new insight or poignant piece of information and personal action goal that may start like this:

Ex. In chapter 1, I learned about the triggers and that I am most triggered by identity triggers especially any feedback about being a spouse or parent.

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By the end of the book, you will have 12-13 goals for yourself with action points to consider for your contribution to the feedback cycle you are currently in. While Nd marriage issues are rarely 50-50, they are never 100-0 on contribution to the cycle. Even if your contribution in your mind is 1-2%, how will you minimize your impact and contribute in a more positive way to better communication.

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When we taught this course before, we used Relational Skills in the Bible by the Courseys, but since recording the videos have changed the workbook to the workbook with the Feedback Back.

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If you want to pursue more from Relational Skills- Those are found here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPuz2DrX-jX2fIcWqlJD00gGabw3Sjh6K

We will add some practice videos of scripts and tools from Emotionally Healthy Relationships.

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You are going to hear the word Joy so much; you will probably be sick of it. We will discuss the difference between joy and happiness and how truly the Joy of the Lord (even in awful circumstances) is the source of our strength for resilience, endurance, and change.

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Homework/Prepping for Class:

Each week come to the site to see what videos, podcasts and chapters are needed to prepare for the course this week.

You can expect chapters in each book, a teaching course from Holmes & Homes, a podcast or YouTube.

You will have questions outlined that will be discussed in your group for men and women, the course outline and homework are the same. The discussion time is what you make of it! Many have asked for discussion questions ahead of time to formulate their questions and answers in class. Group identity and group accountability are KEY to change and spiritual formation. Showing up as passive observer has rarely helped anyone achieve change only knowledge. Until applied new information remains knowledge; application and practice change that knowledge into wisdom.

Homework assigned per session is to be read or completed BEFORE that session.

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Orientation Videos:

Please watch the LifeModel video which is the foundation of Wilder and Coursey’s work.

This is a 16-minute video about LifeModel Works.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOcc2QJ0tTg